


Unbecoming

by Jecari



Series: Unbecoming [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Has Anxiety, Alec Lightwood-centric, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, But Maryse gets better, Fluff, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Jace is ooc, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus is a pianist, Optimism, POV Alec, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, Supportive Jace Wayland
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-09 03:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jecari/pseuds/Jecari
Summary: Alec Lightwood's life was all planned. Study business. Work for the family's company. Marry the daughter of someone important. Have kids. Take over the company (once Robert is ready to retire). But, these plans weren't Alec's.Then again, living at Izzy’s place, being unemployed and not knowing what to do with his life at 29 years old, weren't either.After meeting Magnus Bane, a world famous pianist, things start to change.  Alec himself changes and falls in love for the first time. But more than a love story, this is a story about finding your place in the world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> I'm back with my first multi-chapter fic! It's something Julia and I have been working on for almost a year and this universe has grown on us so much so we hope you are going to like it as much as we do!
> 
> Just a little reminder: English isn't my first language, so it's okay to pinpoint mistakes but don't be rude, please. There shouldn't be a lot of mistakes, though, because Intagibel is beta-ing it and she's doing an amazing work! Thank you Bel!! 
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy! :)

Tying his shoelaces, Alec can’t repress a soft smile. For the first time in weeks, he doesn’t feel like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and he can relax. All his worries and thoughts are left on the archery range, pinned to the center of the target by the arrows he’s shot, and he feels like himself again. Tired but serene, Alec closes the door of his locker, puts the key in his pocket, and walks out of the locker room.  
  
When Alec opens the club’s front door a few minutes later, a warm breeze makes his damp hair float in front of his eyes. He runs his hand through his hair to put it back in place, and starts walking, considering Izzy’s offer to cut his hair. He quickly decides otherwise, though. As much as he loves his little sister, she can’t be trusted with scissors, and after her bangs fiasco, Alec would rather tie his hair into a bun than let her touch it. The memory of 17 years old Izzy with crooked bangs, lift Alec’s mood even more, and by the time he’s walking down the stairs leading to the subway station, he’s smiling from ear to ear. Alec is about to enter the station when his phone buzzes in the back pocket of his jeans, and, when he reads Izzy’s name on the screen, he answers right away.  
  
   
“Someone’s in a good mood,” Izzy beams after He greets her.  
  
“I’ve been practicing.” Alec keeps walking down the hallway leading to the platforms. “I’m on my way home, do you need anything?”  
  
“Actually…” Izzy sounds hesitant, “I need your help.”  
  
Alec doesn’t hesitate for a second and answers: “Anything.”  
  
“Can you pick Max up at Pandemonium?”  
   
  
When he hears their young brother’s name, Alec stops in his tracks, and his mind goes blank for a few seconds, barely processing the people bumping into him. Just like that his good mood and smile are gone, replaced by a rock in his stomach. Worries and thoughts are back, and, now that he’s tasted a short moment of serenity, they are stronger and uglier, uncontrollable. It’s not Max or Izzy’s fault but Alec hasn’t seen his brother for over a month and it’s not because he doesn’t want to. If he has distanced himself from Max, it’s because he doesn’t have a choice, their parents don’t want the family pariah anywhere near their precious baby. And, since he doesn’t want Max to get into trouble because of him, no matter how much hates it, staying away is the best thing to do right now.  
   
  
“Izzy…” Alec sighs, ready to refuse. In all honesty, he would love to go and have the chance to spend some time with his little brother, but he can’t...  
  
“He’s been asking about you, Alec. He misses you,” Izzy’s voice is quiet like she’s telling him a secret she promised to keep for herself, “besides, I can’t ask anyone else, and I can’t go. I promise I’ll explain later.”  
  
  
The more his sister talks, the more Alec feels his walls come crashing down and goodwill taking their place. His siblings have always been his biggest weakness, his soft spot, and he would do anything for them.  
  
  
“Please, please, please, please? You know I wouldn’t ask you if I had another solution.”  
  
   
Again, Alec sighs. This is going to be awkward, but he can’t resist Izzy, he doesn’t want to. Therefore, he accepts, already turning around, and heads toward a different hallway. Izzy quickly thanks him, and hangs up, leaving Alec alone with his thoughts. His brain is working faster than Alec can handle and he feels his shoulders tense as his head starts to ache. While he’s waiting for the train to arrive, Alec digs his hands into his pocket, then takes out his headphones. After a tough battle with the knots on the cable, Alec plugs it to his phone, already hoping the music would be enough to distract himself. He’s about to open his music app when his phone dings, announcing a text from Izzy, so Alec reads it and frowns as he looks at the last sentence.  
   
  
**_Say hi to Magnus for me ;)_**  
   
  
Right… Magnus Bane, the piano prodigy Alec has been hearing about for years. Even though he’s never met the guy, Alec already dislikes him. It's nothing personal, but what he knows about him makes Alec think Magnus is playing some game with people. No one is _that_ perfect.  
  
At first, it was only Jace. When they were teenagers, Jace (who played piano too) looked up to Magnus and praised his piano skills every time he got the opportunity to do so. But then Clary, Jace’s fiancée, started working for Magnus as an art teacher at Pandemonium Art Center, and couldn't shut up about his kindness. And, finally, Max started taking piano lessons with him so Izzy met Magnus and started praising his looks. Because, apparently, Magnus isn't just a good-hearted piano prodigy, he is also “smoking hot” according to Alec's sister. All in all, Magnus Bane is perfect on paper, and that must mean he’s hiding something since Alec knows one thing for sure: perfection doesn't exist. And he knows what he's talking about, he sacrificed his own happiness to achieve perfection, and yet here he is…  
  
Shaking his head to chase the thoughts away, Alec closes the text without answering it, and music starts echoing in his ears as he gets on the train. The ride is short, but by the time Alec gets out of the subway station, he’s managed to focus on better things. Like Max. The last time Alec has seen him was for the youngest Lightwood’s birthday in August, when Izzy had come up with a plan to take the boy away from the family house and their parents’ supervision. Over a month has passed since then and school has started again. Alec can’t wait to hear everything about it.  
  
Minutes later, Alec stops in front of the Art center’s door, where “Pandemonium” is written in some fancy font, he stops the music, then takes off his headphones before putting them back in his pocket. Looking at the door, he takes a deep breath to gather some courage.  
  
When he enters the art center, Alec is still trying to convince himself everything is going to be fine. The reception is empty and Alec distractedly listens to the music playing as he looks around him. The place is so different from what he’s imagined that Alec huffs at his own narrow mind. He should know better than judge a book by its cover, but he still does sometimes. With Jace working on the opposite side of the street, proudly owning a food truck he decided to call “Java Jace”, Alec has walked by Pandemonium many times, so he had some idea about what he was going to find behind the door. The boldly painted walls and cumbersome decorations he’s imagined are nowhere to be found, though. The room is small, the chairs lined up against the wall to his left and the big front desk probably making it appear smaller than it truly is, but the colorful wall fresco painted behind the desk gives a welcoming atmosphere to it.  
  
  
“Just a second!”  
  
   
Familiar red hair pops out of a door Alec hasn’t notices, and Clary grins when she sees Alec standing in front of her.  
   
  
“Alec! Finally!” she exclaims, grabbing her handbag from somewhere behind the desk. “Max is in the piano studio with Magnus,” she informs him, like Alec knows where that is, and hastily walks toward the front door, obviously in a hurry.  
  
“Um... Clary?”  
  
“Right!” The redhead says, smiling, “second door to the left,” she clarifies, pointing at a hallway with her chin.  
   
  
Clary leaves after shouting “Bye!”, and Alec finds himself alone again, music being his only company until it abruptly stops too. Alec is about to walk down the hallway his friend pointed to but a laugh he recognizes as Max’s resonates in the art studio and he freezes, realizing how much he’s missed that sound. Anxiety suddenly kicks in, and if Alec hasn’t been breathing normally since Izzy’s phone call, he now feels like he can’t breathe at all.  
  
Meeting someone new is stressful enough, but what if Max is mad at him? What if their parents have turned his little brother against him? What if Max doesn’t want to see him?  
  
Needing a moment to pull himself together, Alec rests his hands on the front desk, hang his head slightly then counts as air comes in and out of his lungs. When his breathing has calmed down, Alec straightens up, rubs his sweaty hands against his jeans, and walks toward the piano studio. He’s halfway down the hallway when a soft, peaceful melody that eases some of the tension off his shoulders and helps him relax a little bit starts playing.  
  
When Alec arrives at the piano studio, the door is open so he approaches quietly to not disturb Max and his teacher. The room is bigger than the reception with bright walls and big windows but what immediately catches Alec’s eye is the grand piano. Apart from an armchair and a small table, it is the only furniture in the room and it looks majestic.  
  
Standing in the doorway, Alec watches his brother frowns, carefully following Magnus' hands on the piano keys and probably trying to register the movements of the pianist’s fingers. And, since neither of them notice him, Alec takes the chance to take in Magnus' features. Alec would never admit it to Izzy, or anyone else for that matter, but she was so right: Magnus Bane is smoking hot. Actually that’s an understatement, “hot” isn’t doing justice to the man. Magnus is stunning, breathtaking, magnificent. There is something almost magical about him that makes Alec’s heart beat faster, and his knees get weaker.  
  
What attracts Alec’s attention first is the way the eyeliner and glitter on Magnus' eyelids stand out on the tanned skin and make his dark eyes sparkle. Magnus' hair is spiked up on his head but still looks soft. He’s wearing a black shirt underneath a purple vest which emphasizes the fine, strong muscles of his upper body and, from what he can see, tight black pants that show off his equally powerful legs. The man is so gorgeous that all Alec wants to do is look at the pianist for the rest of his life. Mesmerized, Alec almost misses the wrong note making Max groan and definitely forgets about it when Magnus smiles. His smile is astonishing and makes Alec’s heart skip a beat.  
  
There’s something special about Magnus, some sort of aura and Alec, as stubborn as he is about his opinions, likes him on the spot. It’s a strange feeling, one Alec has never fully embraced before but he is instantly attracted to the man.  
   
  
“Alec!”  
   
  
Tearing his eyes off Magnus before he’s caught staring, Alec sees Max running to him and he barely has time to kneel to catch him. A relieved sigh escapes Alec’s lips when his brother hugs him tightly and, realizing Max doesn’t hate him, Alec smiles like a fool. Max looks genuinely happy to see him and it fills Alec’s heart with so much joy it could explode. However, as he holds Max in his arms probably longer than necessary, Alec can’t ignore the uncomfortable feeling of being watched that makes him shiver so he looks up. Magnus is standing a few steps behind Max, looking at them with a soft smile on his lips that disappears when he realizes Alec is looking at him.  
  
When Max lets go of him, Alec has no choice but to stand up and walk toward Magnus. Their eyes meet and Alec’s heart makes a leap while his brain freezes. All he can do is stare into the pianist’s fascinating eyes since he forgets how to speak.  
   
  
“Hello there,” Magnus greets him, taking Alec’s breath away in the process. “You must be Alexander, your sister called me,” Magnus adds, holding out his hand. “Magnus Bane.”  
  
Alec wants to say a million things and play it cool but, of course, the words stay stuck in his throat. “A... A…”  
  
Thankfully, Max rescues him, “he prefers Alec,” the boy tells his teacher as Magnus puts his hand down.  
  
“Why? Alexander is such a beautiful name!” Magnus smiles. “A beautiful name for a beautiful man,” he continues with a wink.  
   
  
Confused, Alec frowns. Is that what people call flirting? Should he flirt back? Is it even appropriate to flirt while Magnus is working? And what if Alec is just imagining it?  
  
After a while, Alec’s brain slowly starts working again, but it is definitely damaged. It’s like he’s opened a door in his head and the thoughts all want to get out at the same time. And it’s not Alec being his usual self, it’s something else. Something unsettling, uncomfortable yet pleasant.  
   
  
“Um… R-Ready to um, go?” Alec struggles to ask Max.  
  
Max sends him a funny look, shrugs, then turns to Magnus, “am I?”  
  
“I just need to see your ID, Handsome,” Magnus informs Alec who blushes at the last word, “I can’t let Max go with just anyone, no matter how attractive they are. Better be safe than sorry.”  
  
   
Magnus' compliment makes Alec blush even more. The more he spends time with the man, the more confused he becomes, as the same questions resonate in his head again and again. Is Magnus flirting? Probably not. He’s certainly just being nice. Yet…  
  
   
“Um… s-sure,” Alec stutters, mentally kicking himself for being so ridiculous.  
  
   
Despite his shaky hands, Alec quickly finds his wallet in his pocket, opens it and hands Magnus his ID without making a fool of himself. Magnus takes the ID and studies it with a smile.  
  
  
“Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” the pianist reads.  
  
“Alec,” Max automatically corrects him while Alec doesn’t even bother. He actually likes the way Magnus says his name.  
  
“Right,” Magnus acquiesces but something in his tone tells Alec he has no intention on using the nickname and Alec is strangely okay with that, “you are free to go, young man.” He ruffles Max’s hair before turning to Alec, “it was a pleasure, Alexander,” he adds, giving Alec his ID back.  
  
   
This time, neither of the Lightwoods correct him. Alec takes his ID, trying to smile at Magnus, and once it’s in his wallet then his pocket, he puts one hand on Max’s shoulder and drags him out. They’ve barely exited the art center when Max starts talking about his day and everything Alec has been missing. Max acts like Alec hasn’t been kicked out of his life the day he’s been kicked out of the family house and it feels weird but good. Distracted by Max’s chatter and his own bliss, Alec doesn’t notice time passing by and, before he knows it, they’re walking into the garden of the Lightwood’s house .    
   
  
“Are you picking me up from Pandemonium again next week?” Max asks when they stop in front of Alec’s childhood house.  
  
“Maybe?” Alec wants to, but he can’t let Max get his hopes up and disappoint his young brother again. “I have to talk about it with Izzy,” he adds, carefully avoiding looking at the house. He may not be inside but he feels like he’s suffocating anyway.  
  
“I hope you are,” Max declares before disappearing behind the front door.  
  
   
Once it’s closed, Alec almost runs out of the garden. This place makes him sick and although he’s promised himself he’d never come back here again, he’s ready to make the effort. For Max.  
  
   
*  
  
   
After dropping Max at their parents’ house, Alec takes his time getting back to the apartment he’s sharing with Izzy, knowing what’s waiting for him there. He can perfectly picture his sister lounging on the couch with some cocktail she made up. But what worries Alec the most are her questions because he doesn’t have any answers yet. Alec knows Izzy and, after meeting Magnus, his sister’s intentions are clear: maybe Izzy couldn’t go but there is definitely more to this than meets the eye.  
  
Ever since Alec came out and moved in with Izzy, she’s been trying to find him a boyfriend and with his alluring smile, dark yet sparkly eyes and fine body, Magnus definitely is Alec’s type. Izzy knows it and she means well, but Alec isn’t sure he is ready for a relationship,for deep, complex feelings. Sure, Alec is finally comfortable with who he is but, to be honest, all of this is new and scary, and he’s never liked novelty. It has always made him anxious, not knowing what to expect. He’s been conditioned to plan things, to control them, from a young age and old habits die hard. But, even though what he felt when he met Magnus was unexpected and uncontrollable, Alec can’t deny it felt nice which is ridiculous since they only talked for a few minutes.  
  
When he enters the apartment, Alec can’t stop the proud smile forming on his lips. Izzy may know him better than anyone else but it’s true the other way too. Proof is the dark-haired woman is sitting on the couch, a magazine in one hand and a cocktail glass filled with some orange liquid in the other. Appreciating the few minutes of tranquillity he has left, Alec quietly closes the door and kneels to take his shoes off. Standing up again, he sees Izzy’s looking at him with a huge, knowing smile. The magazine is resting on her lap and she pats the couch, inviting him to sit with her. Alec sighs, his bed is more appealing than what’s going to come but he gives in when Izzy’s smile turns into a frown. Alec barely has the time to sit down before Izzy puts the cocktail glass in his hands.  
  
   
“Try this.” Izzy pokes his arm with her finger.  
  
  
Alec squints,  looking suspiciously between the drink in his hand and Izzy. The color is nice but that is probably the only nice thing about it because Izzy is as bad at mixing drinks as she is at cooking. Yet, she insists on making up new cocktails and keeps swearing they’re good, it’s everyone else that aren’t ready for her avant-garde tastes. Influenced by Izzy’s insisting stare, Alec brings the glass closer to his face and sniffs. A strong smell of rum and orange makes him wince.  
  
   
“It’s not going to kill you!” Izzy says rolling her eyes.  
  
   
Alec frowns but brings the glass to his lips then takes a small sip of the cocktail. It tastes even worse than Alec thought and he has trouble swallowing it.  
  
   
“What the hell is that?” Alec coughs.  
  
“I decided to call it Geriatric Pumpkin,” Izzy smiles proudly.  
  
“Because it tastes like an old person’s piss?”  
  
“Hey!” The dark-haired woman punches Alec’s shoulder. “That’s not nice!”  
  
“You know what isn’t nice? Making me drink that,” Alec lifts the glass up in a mock salute before putting it down on the coffee table.  
  
“You just have bad taste! It’s delicious.” Izzy takes the glass and sips the cocktail, “you just don’t understand my talent. It’s okay, though, I know someone who will.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Magnus.”  
  
“Magnus?”  
  
“Yeah, you’ve finally met him, right?” Izzy’s faking innocence.  
  
Alec doesn’t buy it so he sighs and sinks into the couch. “Mhm.”  
  
“And…?” Izzy moves next to Alec so she’s sitting on her feet, facing him.  
  
   
Despite her expectant stare, Izzy doesn’t urge Alec to answer. Even if talking about boys with Izzy is not as weird as it used to be, Alec is still not completely comfortable doing it. However,  that’s not the reason why he stays silent. He doesn’t speak a word because he doesn’t know what to say. He’s confused and perplexed, yet he can’t ignore the way his heart beats faster whenever he thinks about the pianist.  
   
  
“I..um..” He tries after a while, his head resting against the back of the sofa, slightly turned toward Izzy who smiles at him.  
  
“I knew you would like him.”  
  
“Iz,” Alec sighs, “I don’t even know him.”  
  
“Do you want to?”  
  
   
Alec turns his head so he’s looking at the ceiling and thinks. Does he? Does he want to get to know Magnus? Does he want to spend time with him? Does he want to see him again? Maybe he shouldn’t and it’s weird, but yes, he does.  
  
   
“I guess,” Alec looks at Izzy again.  
  
   
Izzy is unexpectedly quiet after Alec’s confession. She moves again, stretching out her legs to put her feet on the coffee table and resting her head against Alec’s shoulder.  A comfortable silence falls between them, a soft smile playing on Alec’s lips as he settles his head on top of Izzy’s, and lets his mind wander. He inevitably thinks about what he’s been through during the last few months, but that doesn’t bring him down this time.  
  
Instead, it just makes him realize that despite everything, he’s still lucky because he has the best sister a man could ask for. Izzy has never let him down. She’s offered him infallible support and a roof when he had nowhere to go and she’s always been compassionate and understanding. So, really, Alec is lucky to have Izzy by his side.  
  
   
“Are you going to do anything about it?” Izzy eventually asks, lifting her head up a little.  
  
Alec scoffs, looking down at her. “Sure, I’m going to go back there tomorrow and ask him out,” he jokes before sighing, “I don’t even know if he’s interested in me, or men in general.”  
  
“He is,” Izzy states, sounding confident, “interested in men, I mean,” she pauses, “and women.”  
  
“You know you can’t assume that just because he wears makeup and dresses like a model, right?”  
  
“It’s on his Wikipedia page, idiot, he’s bi.”  
  
“There’s a Wikipedia page about Magnus?” Alec asks, puzzled.  
  
“He’s one of the most talented pianists in the country, of course there is.”  
  
   
Curious, Alec considers taking his phone out of his pocket and checking it but decides otherwise. While he wants to know more about Magnus, he doesn’t want to do it like that. It just wouldn’t be fair. Alec wants to get the information from Magnus himself, he wants to get to know him personally and not stalk him like he did with that movie star he had a crush on when he was a teenager.  
  
As silence falls again between them, the atmosphere changes. Izzy straightens on the couch and looks at her feet now brushing the soft carpet covering the cold floor tiles. She frowns, bites her lips then frown again, and Alec understands she has something to tell him, something she doesn’t want to. Immediately, his brain starts working at full speed torturing him with different scenarios. When they become too irrational, Alec puts his hand on her shoulder.  
  
  
“What is it?”  
  
Izzy looks at him straight into the eyes. “Lydia stopped by the shop after you left,” she announces.  
  
   
Izzy sounds embarrassed and guilty, probably because she thinks that’s still a sensitive topic, but it isn’t. Even though they dated for years and even were engaged for a while Alec was never in love with Lydia. He cared for her, liked her company, and she was a precious friend, but it was never romantic between them. So, Alec doesn’t feel bad or sad about Lydia getting married. If anything, he’s happy she’s found someone who loves her the way she deserves to be loved.  
  
  
“I know,” Alec simply replies.  
  
“You… What? How?” Izzy’s eyebrows knit in confusion.  
  
“She called me two days ago and told me she was getting married, when she talked about the wedding rings, I told her to go to your shop,” Alec explains, shrugging.  
  
“Isn’t it weird?”  
  
“Why?” Alec shrugs.  
  
“You were engaged to her.”  
  
“For wrong reasons and it litteraly lasted a few hours,” Alec reminds his sister, “can we not talk about it?”  
  
Izzy opens her mouth but closes it again before any word comes out of it. She stays quiet for a short while before asking: “So, you won’t be mad at me for doing the rings?”  
  
“No, Izzy.”  
  
“If you’re sure… I have something to ask you,” she says, smiling.  
  
   
Alec knows that smile all too well. Izzy is going to ask him a favor and Alec is going to end up saying yes, no matter how hard he tries to fight it. Knowing Izzy’s going to talk whether Alec asks or not, he just looks at her with a raised eyebrow.  
  
   
“I’m going to be very busy with the rings and I’m going to have to work late for the next few weeks, so I won’t be able to pick Max up from Pandemonium. Could you please save my ass and do it for me? If I tell mom and dad, they’re going to make a scene and-”  
  
“I’ll do it,” Alec stops her.  
  
   
Even if Izzy can be convincing, Alec doesn’t accept so quickly because of her power of persuasion, but because he wants to do it. After his talk with Max on the house porch, he was actually thinking about going again, despite the risk he would take regarding his parents. They definitely won’t agree but Alec doesn’t care. He’s still Max’s brother and he’s ready to go against their will to spend time with him.  
  
   
“That was easier than I thought,” Izzy admits.  
  
“I just liked spending time with Max and I want to do it again.”  
  
“So, this has nothing to do with a certain handsome pianist?” Izzy smiles.  
  
  
To be honest, Alec had almost forgotten about Magnus, he was agreeing to help his sister and reconnect with his brother. But now that Izzy has mentioned it, the idea of seeing the pianist again soon puts a smile on his face.  
  
  
“That’s what I thought,” Izzy says, standing up. “Seriously, thank you,” she adds, patting his shoulder.  
  
  
Izzy walks behind the couch, and after a short moment, Alec hears her stop. Seconds later, her arms are wrapped around Alec’s shoulders, hugging him from behind.  
  
  
“Have dinner before you go to bed,” she orders, planting a kiss on the top of his head, “there’s pasta in the fridge.”  
  
“I’m not hungry,” Alec replies, lifting his head up to look at his sister.  
  
He sees Izzy rolling her eyes. “It’s from the Italian place down the street,” she informs him, “even I wouldn’t eat something I’ve cooked.”  
  
  
The last statement makes Alec chuckle. He just loves how Izzy can laugh at her faults, he’s always been envious of that. Only someone as confident as his sister can laugh at herself and Alec has never been even close to being like that. At least, not in his personal life. His professional life used to be different, he used to show confidence back then.  
  
  
“But my cocktails are delicious,” Izzy affirms before ordering in a motherly voice, “have dinner.”  
  
  
Izzy kisses Alec’s forehead again before leaving for her bedroom and even though he rolls his eyes, Alec obeys.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> This must be fate, I'm posting Chapter 2 on Magnus' birthday haha
> 
> Just a little reminder: English isn't my first language, so it's okay to pinpoint mistakes but don't be rude, please. There shouldn't be a lot of mistakes, though, because Intangibel is beta-ing it and she's doing an amazing work! Thank you Bel!! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Free time is probably what Alec hates the most about being unemployed. When he had a job, it was easy to ignore his thoughts because he was always so busy and too tired to bother with them once he was home. But now, he doesn’t have enough distractions to shut his brain off and often, it all becomes so overwhelming, giving him a headache which slows him down for the rest of the day. Sometimes, his inner demons are so strong he doesn’t even have the energy to get out of bed, but that day Alec is determined to not let them win and he knows only one way to do that: keeping his hands busy. So, as soon as Izzy leaves after breakfast, heading to work, he examines his options. While he considers going to the archery club or joining Izzy in the workshop she nicely decided to share with him, he settles on making himself useful.   
  
Even though it’s Izzy’s turn, he starts with doing the dishes and as he rubs them, stains of tomato sauce and coffee become his main concern. Not giving his mind enough time to fail him again, Alec ends up cleaning the entire apartment, although he’s already done that two days ago and continues with the laundry. His strategy seems to work fine for a few hours, but as he waits for the laundry to be over, a familiar feeling twists his guts. Alec tries to ignore it and randomly looks at job offers on his phone, leaning against the sink by the washing machine, but it’s here, heavy and tormenting.   
  
_**This is the biggest mistake of your life.** _  
  
When his father’s words echo in his head, Alec knows he’s lost control and he won’t stop his train of thoughts now, so he just gives up. He puts his phone in his pocket and sits on the floor, thinking about what Robert said that day. At the time, it all seemed exaggerated, words full of disappointment and hatred, but now, a part of Alec thinks his father might have been right. Ten months ago, Alec has turned his life upside down and for what? Sure, it felt good and Alec was finally himself but was it worth it? Perhaps following his parents’ rules and living up to their expectations wasn’t that bad after all. At least, it was giving him a future and a stability Alec misses now that everything is so chaotic.  
  
Grunting, Alec lifts his head up, rests it again the cold tiles of the bathroom’s wall, and closes his eyes. Memories of endless meetings, nights spent at work, lies he’s told, and stifling suits and ties, dance behind his eyelids and he chuckles humorlessly. No matter how hard he tries to fight it, his old habits and reasoning come back from time to time, deep-rooted in his mind. He may have been considered a successful man then because he was good at his job, but he wasn’t happy. By the time the beep of the washing machine interrupts his train of thought, Alec has convinced himself his situation isn’t that bad.   
  
Once he’s hung out the washing, the afternoon is just getting started. Since there’s nothing left to do in the apartment, Alec decides to go out because he knows better than staying here, inactive. He takes a quick shower, changes into clean jeans and t-shirt and leaves the apartment. Outside, the air is hot and stuffy from car fumes, but it doesn’t bother Alec who starts walking with no particular destination in mind. Despite his chaotic life, he actually has a few possibilities: he can go to the archery club and practice, he can pay a visit to Jace and keep him company while he works or he can simply walk around the city and enjoy the nice weather. Although all the alternatives sound nice, none seems appealing enough to convince Alec, and when minutes later he looks around him, he understands why.   
  
Alec finds himself in a familiar street with old buildings surrounding him. The first floor of the one he’s facing has been turned into a cozy shop that Alec knows well for his sister’s name is written above the glass door. Now that he’s facing it, Alec realizes he subconsciously knew where he was going ever since he left the apartment, so he enters without hesitation. When the bell rings, announcing Alec’s presence in the shop, the dark-haired man cleaning one of the vitrines greets him.   
  
  
“Oh, it’s you,” the man adds after lifting his head up, grimacing.   
  
“It’s nice to see you too, Raphael,” Alec replies, heading toward the door in the back of the shop.  
  
“Isabelle went out for lunch,” Raphael steps in front of him.   
  
“I’m not here to see her.”   
  
  
Alec quickly lifts his eyebrows, takes a step on the left and walks into the workshop, ignoring Raphael’s protests. The two men met a year ago when Raphael started working with Izzy and got off on the wrong foot after Raphael made a snarky comment on Alec’s clothes. Alec cut the argument short but since, Izzy’s employee looks at him in a way that just makes him cringe. They don’t exactly hate each other, it’s more of a passive-aggressive thing, but Raphael gets on his nerves. However, the man truly cares for Izzy and Alec would never admit it out loud, but he appreciates it.   
  
Closing the workshop’s door behind him, Alec can’t help but smile as he remembers his sister’s only request when she invited him to share her place. “I don’t want these sawdust everywhere, no woodcarving Alec, I’m serious,” she said and Alec was disappointed but still respected Izzy’s demand. Ever since he’s learned how to turn a small branch into a tiny bear thanks to a knife at summer camp, Alec loves woodcarving. There’s something beautiful and satisfying about seeing the wood slowly turning into an object he’s imagined, that his parents have never understood. So, instead of getting more advanced tools, young Alec secretly kept sculpting branches. He learned everything he knows about tools and techniques on internet and thanks to the cabinetmaker who lived down the street.  
  
Years later, when Izzy bought the shop, she offered to share the workshop with Alec, being one of the few people supporting him to continue his hobby. And, since the cabinetmaker was retiring and selling his equipment, Alec bought it and accepted Izzy’s offer. Now, pieces of wood, carving tools, sculptures and half-finished furniture sit alongside with metals, precious stones, and other jewelry equipment Alec can’t even name. The workshop is the perfect reflection of their personalities, Izzy’s subtlety clashing with Alec’s roughness, yet co-existing.   
  
When Alec sits in front of his work table, he already feels the tension draining from his body. The excitement of working with wood overcomes everything else, and it’s like Alec can breathe for the first time today. Woodcarving has always calmed Alec down, giving him a feeling of peace. As soon as he starts polishing the pedestal table he’s been working on for days, Alec feels that peace filling his body.  
  
  
“Say hi to Alec for me.”   
  
  
Alec freezes when he hears the familiar feminine, voice coming from the shop. Lydia. Alec tries hard to focus on his work but he pays attention to every word said in the shop, hoping he can just stay hidden in the workshop until Lydia leaves. She’s his friend, but they’ve only spoken on the phone since they ended their fake relationship, and Alec was planning on avoiding the “how have you been” talk for another hundred years. It may be easy to lie on the phone, but Alec has always been a terrible liar in person so he’s not ready to face Lydia yet. His life is a mess and the entire world doesn’t need to know about it.   
  
  
“Tell him yourself,” Alec hears Raphael say, “he is in the workshop.”   
  
  
Seconds later there’s a knock on the door. As much as he wants to pretend that he hasn’t heard it, Alec turns the sander off, takes a deep breath, and stands up. When he opens the door, Lydia is standing in the doorway, her hair tied up in a ponytail and her lips painted with dark pink lipstick. She smiles at him.   
  
  
“Hi,” Alec tries to smile back but gives up when he feels it turning into a grimace.   
  
“Alec, it’s so good to see you,” Lydia says hugging him awkwardly.   
  
“Yeah, you too,” he replies, breaking the contact rapidly, “congratulations by the way.”   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
  
In all honesty, Alec isn’t surprised by the uncomfortable silence that settles between them. It’s been a while and even though they appreciate each other, this is too embarrassing for both of them.   
  
  
“So,” Lydia is the one who breaks the silence, “how have you been? I…” she stops, putting a hand on his arm and biting her lower lip.  
  
Alec knows her well enough to guess what Lydia wants to say but is holding back. “I’m good,” he lies and hopes she buys it.   
  
  
Of course, she doesn’t.   
  
  
“Are you sure?” She asks and her hand leaves Alec’s arm, “ I… I’ve heard you’re not working for you parents anymore and you’re living with Isabelle, now?”  
  
“Yes, um…” Alec has to stop to wet his lips, his mouth suddenly dry, “things got... out of hand with my parents and... I just couldn’t do it anymore.”   
  
“I’m sorry, Alec, if I hadn’t-”  
  
“Don’t,” Alec stops her, “it’s not your fault, Lydia,” he reassures her, “none of this was fair to you and you deserve to be loved and happy.”  
  
“So do you, Alexander Lightwood,” Lydia hugs him, ignoring the way he rolls his eyes at the use of his full name.   
  
  
This time, there’s nothing awkward about the hug. Lydia holds Alec tight in her arms, as if she’s trying to prove her point. That’s not enough, though, Alec still wonders if he does deserve any of it.  
  
  
“You really do,” she insists when they part, taking his face in her hands to force him to look at her in the eyes, “and you will, I promise.”  
  
  
Although Alec’s smile is earnest and Lydia’s words sound sincere, he doesn’t believe her. It maybe weird, but Alec simply can’t picture himself happy.   
  
  
*  
  
  
A few days later, Alec is checking job offers again after spending the afternoon at the archery club. Completely dedicated to the task, he has his resume ready to be sent, and the apartment is completely silent.   
  
Rent was due the previous day and Izzy payed his share again, assuring him that she doesn’t mind. But Alec does. As much as he’s grateful and appreciate Izzy being so helpful, he can’t let her pay for everything. So, Alec intends to fully use the few hours he has before leaving for Pandemonium and apply for as many jobs as he can. However, after a few minutes, his head starts to hurt and his determination is being tested. Whether it’s the wage, the job itself, or the location, none of the offers attract Alec. However, he can’t allow himself to be picky, so he spends two hours working on letters in support of application and sending them with his resume.  
  
 Everything would probably be easier if he knew what he wanted to do with his life or had a dream job to fight for, but Alec actually never thought about it before. He wasn’t even born that everything was decided for him. His parents had a plan for him and he followed it without complaining or asking any questions. Alec studied business in the most prestigious university of the state, staying close to home so he could keep working as an intern for them, and became a sales representative after graduating. Robert and Maryse made it clear from the beginning that Alec was going to take over the company one day but he had to prove himself before. Thus, Alec worked harder than anyone else, to make them proud. And maybe they’ve been proud at some point, but this will never happen again.   
  
Shaking his head to forget about it, Alec closes his laptop and pinches the bridge of his nose. After checking his watch, he notices he still has an hour before Max’s lesson is over, and rather than spend it here, moping, he grabs his jacket and leaves, deciding to stop by Jace’s truck before going to the art center. Outside, the sky is already dark and Alec puts his headphones on, both to avoid being annoyed by strangers and relax with the music, before taking the subway.   
  
When he arrives  to his destination twenty minutes later, Alec does his best to ignore the fact that the big white truck with the logo Clary has designed is parked across the art center. Of course, the location isn’t what Alec is avoiding thinking about; Magnus is. Just his name already makes Alec’s heart beats faster and his hands gets sweaty, but Alec kicks himself mentally, takes off his headphones and walks around to meet his best friend by the food truck's door. The moment he sees him, Jace’s face lights up and he says something to his employee before joining him. In the truck, the woman with curly hair glares at them.   
  
  
“I think Maia is going to kill me if you keep taking breaks when I show up,” Alec declares, taking the warm drink Jace hands him.   
  
“I’m the boss, I can take breaks whenever I want,” Jace reminds him, loud enough for Maia to hear him.   
  
  
The woman rolls her eyes, politely says goodbye to the customer she was taking care of, and joins them.   
  
  
“If I have to kill someone,” she starts, standing by the door, still in the truck, “it’s that idiot. He keeps leaving me alone to visit his girlfriend.”  
  
“Again, I’m the boss.”   
  
“Yeah, I got it the first hundred times you said it but-” Maia puts a smile on her face and turns around to welcome the customer who just arrived.   
  
“She’s lucky she’s good at her job,” Jace sighs, “you’re on your way to pick Max up?”   
  
“Yes, I’m early so-”  
  
“So you decided to say hello to your best friend, how thoughtful.”  
  
“I only came for the free coffee,” Alec replies, taking a sip from his paper cup for emphasis.   
  
  
Jace pretends to be offended, but his smile betrays him, as always. His act only lasts for a second before Maia joins them again and they start chatting, Jace and Maia taking turns to take care about customers. Even though he’s having a good time, Alec can’t help but check his watch every other minute, feeling his heartbeat getting faster and faster as time passes by.   
  
  
“Nervous to see Magnus again?” Jace asks while Maia is making a cappuccino for a woman in fancy clothes.   
  
“What? No, why would I be?”   
  
“Really, Alec?”  
  
“He’s Max’s teacher.”   
  
“He’s not yours,” Jace makes a face and Alec doesn’t want to know what’s going on in his head at this moment, “anyway, you should make a move.”  
  
“What makes you think I want to?” Alec plays with his cup, barely looking at his best friend.   
  
“You’re blushing, Alec,” Jace points out, “even I would make a move if I was single. He’s-”  
  
“Jace,” Alec warns his best friend.   
  
“Okay, okay,” Jace raises his hands in surrender.  
  
  
Thankfully, Jace gets the message and changes the topic just before Maia comes back. The next time Alec checks his watch, there are ten minutes left before the end Max’s lesson, but his patience is running out. So, when Maia and Jace starts arguing over the menu for the next day, he gives up. Alec says goodbye to them, promises his best friend to come back the next day so they can go to the gym together, and walks toward the art center. As he gets closer, his heart starts beating wildly, but he’s not sure if it’s nervousness or excitement anymore. Because the truth is, he wants to see Magnus again, he’s actually looking forward to it.  
  
 Taking a deep breath, Alec pushes Pandemonium’s door and goes inside. There, Clary is behind the front desk, the white coat with paint stains she’s wearing telling Alec her last art class ended up  not a long ago. Smiling, Clary leaves the front desk to  welcomes him.   
  
  
“Alec!” She plants a kiss on his cheek, “you’re early,” Clary notices, her smile getting bigger, “do you want to watch the rest of the lesson?”  
  
Alec’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “I can do that?”  
  
“Sure, just go to the studio and don’t interrupt them,” the redhead advises, going back behind the desk.   
  
  
Alec doesn’t take much time to make up his mind, and, sending one last look to Clary, he goes to the piano lesson studio. There, Magnus smiles at him, acknowledging his presence, while Max gives a little wave and hits a wrong note. Magnus chuckles before gesturing toward the armchair and when he understands what it means, Alec nods and sits on it. Soon, Max and Magnus are focused on the piano again, and this becomes Alec’s favorite thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, For those of you who are worried/may be repelled by Alec and Lydia's (totally fake and platonic) relationship, fear not! It's only mentioned a few times throughout the story and doesn't affect Malec in any way! (This is aactually the only time you're going to see her)
> 
> If you want to chat about the story or I don't know, just say hi, You can find me on Tumblr and Twitter.
> 
> If you want to me to add a tag or anything, don't hesitate to ask.  
> Also, you know, comments and kudos are always welcome ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> So apparently updates won't come weekly but they'll be pretty random, subscribe/bookmark the story so you won't miss any new chapter ;)
> 
> Just a little reminder: English isn't my first language, so it's okay to pinpoint mistakes but don't be rude, please. There shouldn't be a lot of mistakes, though, because [Intangibel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/duskbutterfly/pseuds/Intangibel) is beta-ing it and she's doing an amazing work! Thank you Bel!! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Closing his eyes, Alec takes a few deep breaths. His heart is pounding in his chest, his hands are shaking, and his brain is working at full speed, barely making sense. While a part of him is struggling controlling himself, the other one is laughing at his own absurdity. Sure, it all happened really fast and unexpectedly, but he’s used to job interviews by now, so he shouldn’t feel so nervous. Yet, he feels like he’s going to throw up. 

The deep breaths hardly help and when he opens his eyes again, Alec looks at the bar he’s facing. The place is familiar to Alec for he’s been here with his friends several times, but it somehow looks different, intimidating. The opaque windows seems gloomy, making him even more uncomfortable and Alec wants to turn around and leave. He would probably have if it wasn’t for Maia.

Alec has actually been surprised when he woke up to two missed phone calls from her that morning. Although they’ve grown closer since she started working for Jace, Alec doesn’t really consider her a friend, yet, she’s the one who got him that interview. In addition to working at Java Jace, Maia is a bartender here, at Hunter’s Moon, and one of her coworkers quit the previous night, so she talked about Alec to her boss. And, even if Alec doesn’t know a thing about cocktails and bartending, the man agreed to meet him. 

When he’s asked to go behind the bar and make a Sex on the Beach, Alec knows he’s screwed. Even if he’s seen Izzy drink that cocktail multiple times and even tasted it once, he has no clue about how it’s made. All he knows about it is that there’s vodka, orange juice, and something red in it but how much? And what is that red thing? Alec is completely at loss but still tries his best. He pours vodka and orange juice in a glass and opt for strawberry syrup. Once he’s added a tiny umbrella, the boss tastes it as Alec sits on the stool next to him. 

 

“What the fuck? Do you even know what a sex on the beach is?” he winces and since Alec stays silent, he continues, “yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, I agreed for Maia, she said you were hardworking and I don’t doubt that, but this is not going to work.”

“Sorry for wasting your time,” Alec sighs, stands up, and holds out his hand, “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

 

The boss shakes his hand, nodding, and Alec leaves without looking back. Outside, the sun is setting but its light is still bright enough to make Alec squint after spending about half an hour answering questions, and making that cocktail in the half-lightened bar. Thinking about where to go, Alec blinks a few times and looks at his watch once his eyes are used to the light again. Even if Max’s lesson hasn’t even started yet, Alec walks to the subway station and goes to Java Jace. 

When he arrives at Java Jace, Alec tries hard not to look at the art center, but fails, a soft smile playing on his lips. As he was sitting on the armchair a week ago, waiting for the lesson to be over, Alec witnessed a special moment between Max and Magnus. Struggling with some melody, Max broke down in tears, so the pianist cut the lesson short, but found the right words to comfort the boy who finally left the art center with a huge smile on his face. Alec knows Magnus was only doing his job, but he can tell the man was sincere and truly cares about Max which warms Alec’s heart up. Shaking his head, Alec stops his train of thoughts and looks away. He needs to stop it with Magnus; he’s met the man twice and he’s already swooning over him? That doesn’t make any sense and Alec must put himself together. 

As usual, Alec walks around the truck, but there’s no sign of Jace in it. So, he nods at Maia who’s dealing with customers and sits in the vehicle’s doorway. Since he expected failing the interview, he’s not particularly feeling bad about it, but for some reason, he can’t keep wondering what the red liquid in the cocktail is and, knowing it won’t leave his mind until he knows what it is, Alec takes his phone and checks it on Google. 

 

“So, how was it?” Maia asks between two customers. 

“Cranberry juice?” Alec reads out loud, frowning. 

Alec feels Maia standing behind him. “What about it?”

“Did you know that’s the red thing in that cocktail?” Alec questions, showing her his phone. 

Maia squints, looking at the screen, and sighs. “Everyone knows that, Alec.”

“It’s not my fault I don’t know how to make sex on the beach.” 

“It’s have sex on the beach, not make,” the woman jokes, grinning.

Alec says nothing about it, but he doesn’t know much about that either. Instead, he looks up at Maia. “I won’t be your new co-worker.”

She serves one more customer and joins him, crouching. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be, It’s okay. Thanks for talking to your boss, though.”

“Sure,” Maia cracks a smile, “by the way, Jace should be right back, he’s with Clary.”

 

Maia pats his shoulder before standing up as more customers approach. Seconds later, Alec can smell freshly brewed coffee and that scent is enough to make him decide to have one so he stands up, ready to line up. He’s about to put his phone in his pocket when it dings, announcing a text from Izzy. Alec reads it as he walks around the truck and stops behind the last customer in line. After a quick reply, promising Izzy to tell her everything later, Alec puts his phone in his pocket and his eyes land on the man before him. The man is slightly shorter than him and his silhouette is nicely built up, his black jacket finely underlining his narrow waist and muscled arms. 

 

“Hello, sweetheart, you look beautiful today, as always,” the man’s voice sounds familiar, but Alec only connects dots when Maia greets him.

“Hey Magnus, the usual?”

“Yes, please, that would be lovely.” 

 

Maia shots a smile at Magnus and for a second, Alec thinks about going back to the truck’s door before the pianist notices his presence. Alec’s heart is racing and his hands are shaking again, but it’s a different kind of nervousness, a pleasant one. So, Alec doesn’t move. Instead, he stays in line, wondering what would be the less awkward thing to do: saying hello to Magnus or wait for him to notice him? Because Magnus will, eventually. Once he has his drink, he’s going to turn around and Alec is going to be exposed so-

 

“Oh, Alec,” Maia’s voice stops his inner freak out, “Jace said all your coffee is thirty percent up because you never leave tips.” 

One of Alec’s eyebrows lifts up. “What? Izzy always gets it for free!”

“Izzy is prettier than you, though,” Maia shrugs before giving Magnus his coffee.

 

Alec is about to reply and complain about how unfair this is but Magnus turns around and no word comes out.

 

“Don’t listen to her, she’s obviously biased,” Magnus says, grinning, and Alec frown in confusion. What does that even mean? He can’t think about it for too long as Magnus stretches his free hands out. “Hello, Alexander.” 

“It’s Alec,” Maia whispers, badly mimicking Alec’s voice. 

Ignoring her, Alec takes Magnus' hand and the simple contact sends shivers down his spine, “um… Hi...Hello.”

“Are you going to order something or just stand there and make googly eyes at Magnus?” Maia teases as Magnus takes back his hand. 

Alec can feel his face warming up, “coffee,” he simply grunts.

“Sure, god, you’re a real sunshine Alec, aren’t you?” Maia, sighs, making the drink.

“His looks make up for his bad manners” Magnus jokes, “add it to my check, please.”

“No, it’s okay, I-”

“Oh my god, please just leave before I throw up,” Maia interrupts Alec, handing him his cup of coffee.

 

Alec takes it but neither he or Magnus move. Despite the insistent look he gets from Maia above Magnus' shoulder, Alec stays silent, standing awkwardly. The fact that Magnus breaks the silence doesn’t surprise anyone.

 

“Join me, handsome?” he proposes, gesturing toward a free table. 

“Oh...um, y-yes. Okay.”

 

Magnus smiles and walks to a free table. After a quick glance toward Maia who wiggles her eyebrows, Alec follows him, his heart beating faster and faster with every step. Handsome. The simple nickname makes Alec question everything again, especially Magnus' intentions. Right now, Magnus isn’t working so Alec could flirt back without worrying about whether it is acceptable or not, but is Magnus truly flirting with him? The pianist complimented Maia and called her ‘sweetheart’, was he flirting with her? Is Magnus just being nice? With both of them? Is this some kind of date? Is Alec even properly dressed for a date? 

 

“Are you alright, pretty boy?” Magnus asks when Alec squeezes his eyes shut for a second and shakes his head.

 

It’s just coffee, nothing more. Something he’s used doing with his friends and his sister, something very common. Not trusting his voice and brain yet, Alec doesn’t voice his answer, sitting down across Magnus. He nods and sips at his drink. 

 

“So you know Jason?” Magnus questions before drinking some of his coffee too. 

“Jason?” Alec’s eyebrows are knit in confusion and his hands are wrapped around his cup. 

“The man who owns the truck, Jared?”

“Ah, Jace,” Alec corrects Magnus who just shrugs, “yes, he’s, um, he’s my best friend.”

“I guess you know Biscuit too, then?” Magnus continues asking as Alec takes another sip. 

“Pandemonium’s art teacher and James’ fiancée?” He clarifies when Alec’s eyebrows shows his confusion again. 

“Clary, yes.”

“And Isadora is your sister?” 

 

When he hears the name, Alec chokes on his coffee, almost spitting it out into Magnus' face. Instead of making fun of him, Magnus sweetly smiles.

 

“Yes, and h-her name is Isabelle,” Alec clears his throat, “What’s your problem with names?” he smiles. 

“I don’t have any problem with names, I only remember the ones that matter, Alexander.” Magnus speaks Alec’s full name slowly, like he’s trying to make a point. 

“B-but… you remember mine?” It’s more of a question than an observation, but Magnus doesn’t reply. He just looks at Alec straight into the eyes and grins. “But, you… you d-don’t know me.”

“Well, I want to,” Magnus declares, searching the inside pocket of his jacket. 

 

Really? Alec wants to ask but no words come out of his mouth so he just drinks the rest of his coffee, hiding his rosy cheeks as much as he can. 

 

“I have to go, but here’s my number,” the pianist hands Alec a business card, “use it,” he adds, standing up, “I’ll see you later.”

 

Alec barely has the time to take the card before Magnus grabs his cup, winks at him, and walks to Pandemonium, Alec’s eyes following his movements. 

 

“Use what?” Alec is still staring at Magnus when Jace asks his question, taking the pianist’s seat.

“His number,” Alec answers without thinking as Magnus disappears behind the art center’s door. When he looks at Jace, he immediately regrets it, “oh, piss off.”

Jace lifts his hands up. “I didn’t say anything!”

“You don’t have to, we’re parabatai.”

 

Jace grins when Alec uses the word they accidentally made up to describe their friendship: parabatai, more than best friends, almost brothers. As Jace stays silent, Alec believes he’s going to let it go and won’t ask about Magnus for a second, but he’s not that lucky.

 

“Right… So, you and Magnus, huh?”

“It’s just a phone number, Jace,” Alec shakes his head, “and don’t you dare talking about it to Izzy or Clary. If you do, I’ll tell Clary the real circumstances of your ‘accidental’ meeting.”

“Your secret is safe with me!” Jace affirms, lifting his hands up again. 

“Good, imagine Clary’s reaction if she find out what a creep you really are.” 

Jace groans, “you’re the worst parabatai ever,” he states, standing up. 

“Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me,” Alec reminds Jace, following him to the truck.

“I don’t know whom I feel the most sorry for,” Maia interferes, “you for being stuck with such a grump,” she continues, looking at Jace, “or you, for being stuck with such an idiot.” she finishes, looking at Alec. 

“Just go back to work, Maia,” Jace orders. 

“Sure, boss,” she obliges and Alec smiles as Jace shakes his head at his employee’s teasing tone.

 

Alec spends the next few hours standing by the truck, chatting with Jace and Maia until it’s almost time to pick Max up. He enters Pandemonium a few minutes after saying goodbye to them and greets the woman sitting behind the front desk. When he gives her his name, she smiles and tells him he can go to the piano studio if he doesn’t interrupt the lesson. Nodding, Alec joins Magnus and Max, quietly sitting on the armchair and listening to them playing piano with a dumb smile on his face. 

 

*

 

Standing on the porch of the Lightwoods’ house, Alec realizes some things don’t get easier with time. It’s been three weeks since Alec has started picking Max up from his piano lessons, and if spending time with his little brother is already becoming natural and relaxing, coming back here is still challenging for Alec. Memories haunt his mind and his chest hurts, heavy, so he always stays for a few minutes before hugging Max goodbye and fleeing the place. That day, though, there’s a look into Max’s eyes that Alec knows well. It’s the same Izzy sends him when she wants to ask something, but doesn’t dare to do it. So, Alec stays longer, listening to Max talking nonsense about algebra, trying to buy time. When the kid falls silent, Alec sighs, kneels to face him and put his hand on Max’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

 

“What is it , Max?”

 

Looking at his shoes, Max opens his mouth, but closes it again before any sound comes out. 

 

“Max?” Worry is twisting Alec’s guts. 

“Do you-” Max stops to take a deep breath, “do you want to come in?”

 

Alec’s heart take a leap as he looks at his little brother’s sheepish expression. Max is looking at his shoes, like he knows he shouldn’t ask something like that, but there’s something else behind that attitude. Something Alec knows all too well: loneliness. Thinking about it, Alec has been lucky when he was a kid, while their parents were working or away he had Izzy, but Max on the other hand… with Alec and Izzy gone, Max has no one. 

But that house… Alec hates it. It reminds him of so many things he wants to forget, that just looking at it makes his stomach turn. Going inside is a different level of stress, one Alec can handle. What if he runs into his parents? Alec may regret a lot of things, but not having any contact with them isn’t one of them. Just thinking that probably makes him a bad son, but he really doesn’t care. 

 

“Mom and dad aren’t home,” Max tells Alec, breaking the silence, “so…”

“Okay,” Alec sighs heavily. 

 

Let’s be honest, Alec would jump off of a bridge for Max, so he can face his worries and memories; at least, he can try to put them aside. Max lifts his head up, looking at Alec for the first time since they left Pandemonium, smiles and enters the house. Alec breathes deeply before following him. 

The first thing he notices is how nothing has changed. Alec doesn’t know what he expected, but all the family pictures are here, hanging proudly on the walls. They show a perfect, happy family, and Alec can’t hold back a snort. Of course Maryse and Robert are doing everything they can to keep up the apparences. 

As Alec looks at an old photograph of him and Izzy, he wonders what kind of story his parents tell when someone asks about him. Knowing Maryse and Robert, they probably have made up some business trip or internship in some fancy foreign country. Or maybe, in their fantasies, Alec has opened a new firm somewhere far away from New York. Whatever they tell, it is a lie, because for them and their reputation anything is better than the truth. 

Reputation has always been the most important thing for his parents. Everything they do, everything they say, it is for the sake of their name. They lie to everyone, all the time, including themselves. Alec is certain they believe they had a perfect family once: a love that had been lasting for over three decades, a hardworking first born, a beautiful daughter, and a smart little boy. This is probably how everyone sees the Lightwoods, this is how Maryse and Robert used to see their family; until Alec ruined everything by revealing his true self. 

 

“I’ve made a lot of progress!” Max interrupts his train of thoughts and that’s certainly for the best. “Do you want to hear it?” 

 

Although Alec knows everything about Max’s progress because he’s assisted to the end of the lesson earlier, but he nods in response. Max smiles, takes Alec’s hand, and drags him to one of the lounges. There, the dark, grand piano Max sits at is the same Alec and Izzy used when they were learning how to play, ages ago. Maybe because piano is such an elegant, fancy instrument, learning how to play it is some kind of a rite of passage for the Lightwood kids. Unfortunately, it’s not something any of them is good at. While Izzy wasn’t patient enough, Alec had serious issues with tempo. Max, he is undeniably the best of them but piano isn’t his forte either. Smiling, Alec sits next to his little brother, his back facing the door as looks at Max’s fingers on the keys. 

As Max plays, a frown forms on his face, and it turns into a proud grin when he manages to play a difficult part of the song without hitting a single wrong note. It’s cute and Alec could stay here watching his brother forever. 

 

“What are you doing here, Alexander?”

 

Maryse’s voice startles both Max and Alec, who winces at the use of the full name. The former jumps and stops playing, whilst the latter feels his heartbeat fastening as a familiar, nervous sensation settles in his belly. Alec sits still on the piano bench and tries to find a way out of this, but there is none, he’s trapped. Although Alec isn’t looking at Maryse, he can easily picture her standing straight, her hands on her hips hugged by a tailored dress, and a scowl on her face. Minutes pass by as a heavy silence settles in the room, until Maryse’s heels click on the tiles. Unlike what Alec was awaiting, she is not the one who speaks first. 

 

“I invited him,” Max explains, standing up, and Alec’s eyes follow him, carefully not meeting Maryse’s. 

“You shouldn’t have, go to your room,” Maryse orders in a harsh tone.

“But-”

“Now, Max,” Maryse doesn’t shout, but her voice is sharp and echoes in the room. 

However, that doesn’t stop Max from answering back. “No! I was playing something for Alec!”

“Maxwell, in your room.”

 

Max is about to argue again, but Alec doesn’t want his little brother to get in trouble so he mouths ‘go.’ and Max obeys. Once Max has left the room and Alec finds himself alone with his mother, he stands up and faces her, looking at her straight into the eyes.

 

“I don’t want you near my son ever again,” Maryse announces, turning around and walking away.

 

Months ago, Alec made the mistake to let his parents control his life despite everything happening, and let them convince him staying away from Max was the best thing to do. But this time, Alec isn’t going to give up, he’s going to fight for his little brother. Determination and something close to anger replace his discomfort and nervousness, and Alec speaks before Maryse can get out of the living-room. 

 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.”

Maryse laughs, humorless, and turns around, “that’s right, you are not my son anymore.”

“Well, Max still is my brother and you can’t change that. I’m going to pick him up from the art center next friday and the friday after that and the next one, and so on,” Alec challenges her, “you don’t control me anymore, Mother,” he finishes, disgust obvious as he says the last word. 

“I’m just going to look for a new teacher as soon as you leave,” Maryse replies, self-satisfied. 

“No, you’re not,” Alec affirms, taking a few steps forward, “Magnus Bane is the best and you know that. That’s why you chose him in the first place, isn’t it? Now, you wouldn’t deprive your dear son of the best teacher in town -hell, in the state, the entire country even- because of someone as insignificant as me, would you? Think about what your friends would think about that, I can already hear them talking about how Max isn’t good enough to study with the famous Magnus Bane.”

 

Maryse clenches her jaw, sends Alec a dark, angry look but doesn’t answer. 

 

“That’s what I thought,” Alec can’t stop the smug smile forming on his lips, “I hope to never see you again,” he adds, walking out of the house with more confidence than ever. 

 

As soon as he closes the front door behind him, Alec’s confidence is gone. Who is Alec fooling? He’s never been confident, he was simply pretending to be.

Alec’s hands are shaking and air is having trouble filling his lungs, making his chest hurt. Alec feels the urge to go as far away of the house as he can, so he starts running, ignoring the pain and the lump in his throat. When he finally stops, facing the stairs leading to the subway station, he breathes rapidly and tears are running down his cheeks. Catching his breath, Alec angrily wipes his tears away.

 

“Fuck,” he sighs.

 

No matter what he says, no matter what he does, his parents will always have enough power over Alec to hurt him and he hates it as much as he hates himself for being so weak. 

 

*

 

Later that night, when Izzy comes home from work, Alec is sitting on the couch, still wearing his jacket. Somehow, he had managed to hold back his tears during the subway ride but when he realized Izzy wasn’t home yet and he was alone, Alec collapsed. After the first tear broke free, the rest followed, unstoppable.

Once there was no tears left, he only had the energy to drag himself to the couch and hasn’t moved since, stare blank into space. He’s not feeling angry or sad anymore, Alec’s just feeling...empty. He actually doesn’t notice Izzy until she sits next to him. 

 

“Alec?”

 

The hand Izzy puts on his arm brings Alec back to earth, but he doesn’t look at her. He doesn’t answer neither, unable to pretend he’s fine, but not wanting to worry or bother Izzy with what happens. She may have only spoken one word, but she sounds exhausted and Alec doesn’t want to make things worse for her. She’s been working hard, staying at the shop hours after it closes lately, and she doesn’t need to heard about his encounter with their mother. 

 

“What’s wrong, Alec?” Izzy insists, squeezing his arms, and when Alec only shakes his head in answer, she adds: “Don’t do that, please, talk to me, big brother.” 

Knowing she won’t let it go, Alec lies, his voice thick. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

 

For a seconds, Alec wonders if he is an open book or if Izzy always figures him out because of some siblings connection, but he doesn’t have much time to think about it because Izzy persists:

 

“Please, don’t keep things for yourself again,” she moves closer to Alec and wraps her arms around his chest, “whatever is going on, please, let me help you.”

 

Alec breathes deeply and finally looks at his sister. Izzy is staring at him, her brows furrowed and her lips pressed together, but, when Alec stays silent, tears threatening to fall down again, she doesn’t ask. Alec can feel her grip tighten around him and that’s enough to break down Alec’s already cracked shell. Although he thought he was done crying and Izzy shouldn’t have to see him like this, Alec’s sobbing soon become uncontrollable. Izzy holds him, her cheek resting on his chest, as his body is shaking and he gasps for air. She gently caresses his back and, through his buzzy ears, Alec can hear her soft voice murmuring reassuring words. 

 

“It’s okay, big brother, I’m here. Whatever this is about, we’ll face it, together, it’s going to be fine, you are going to be fine, I promise.”

“I ran into mother,” Alec declares once he’s calm enough to talk, silent tears still rolling down his cheek. He slowly tells Izzy everything about the encounter and she’s considerate enough to not interrupt him.

“I’m so sorry,” Izzy whispers when he’s done, letting go of Alec to look at him in the eyes, “do you think she’s going to stop you from seeing Max?”

“You know her as much as I do,” 

 

Izzy frowns, that’s a yes. 

 

“Maybe I can talk to her?” The dark-haired woman suggests.

“No,” Alec hastily wipes his tears, “you stay out of this.”

“But what about Max? He’s so happy to spend time with you, you can’t just disappear from his life-”

“Again,” Alec finishes for her. 

“What?” Izzy pulls away, frowning at her brother. 

“You can’t just disappear from his life, again. That’s what you were about to say, isn’t it?” 

“What?” She repeats, leaving the couch to sit on the coffee table so she’s facing Alec, “oh my god, Alec, no! Of course not!” She stops and takes a deep breath before leaning forward to put her hand on Alec’s forearm. “That’s not what I was going to say, idiot. I just… You can’t let mother control your life again, Alec. There are no reasons why you should stop seeing Max, he loves you and that would hurt him.”

“Well,” Alec puts his hand on Izzy’s, “she said she’s going to stop me from seeing Max, but I won’t let her. The worst thing she can do is send me to jail and that’s not enough to make me stay away from my little brother.”

His sister grins at his statement. “That’s my big brother! If you end up in jail, I’ll bail you out,” although Izzy laughs, Alec knows she’s serious and, as always, her support warms his heart up. 

 

As Alec finally takes off his jacket, Izzy disappears in the kitchen. She comes back a few minutes later with a glass of some green drink in each hand and sits next to Alec before handing him one. 

 

“I’m not drinking this.” 

“Fine, just wait for Clary’s wine then,” Izzy sighs, smiling and seeing Alec’s confusion she adds: “I texted Jace, called an emergency meeting.”

“You didn’t have to, it’s already late and it’s friday.” 

 

Putting the glasses on the coffee table, Izzy rolls her eyes and Alec knows why. He’s aware his last argument isn’t really valid since he’s the only one who cares about details like that, but Alec likes the routine, it is soothing. And, having dinner with Izzy, Clary and Jace every saturday night is his favorite tradition.

 

“Come on,” Izzy bumps her shoulders against Alec’s arm, “don’t tell me that friends, pizza and cheap wine isn’t what you need.”

 

Izzy’s right, this is exactly what Alec needs: a distraction. He sighs and makes himself comfortable on the couch as Izzy turns the TV on and settles for some reality show he only knows because Izzy loves it. After a painfully long moment of watching women shouting at each other, Alec hears the front door opening and turns his head to find Jace and Clary in the doorway, smiling. 

 

“Pizza!” Jace holds the pizza box above his head. 

“And wine!” Clary adds, lifting a box of wine. 

 

For someone who affirms her cocktails are delicious, Izzy forgets about the glasses on the coffee table quite quickly. She stands up to grab glasses for everyone and Clary joins her in the kitchen while Jace sits down next to Alec. He doesn’t ask about the ‘emergency’ and Alec appreciates it. Jace just claps his hand on Alec’s knee and sends him a comforting smile. Even though Jace is more tactile than Alec, this is the best he can do. Which is fine, Alec doesn’t need more. After all, the couple came right away when Izzy texted Jace and that already means a lot. 

 

“So… Have you thought about it?” Jace grins.

Alec’s eyebrows knit in confusion, “thought about what?”

“Are you going to call you know who?” Jace clarifies, whispering. 

 

Oh, Magnus.With everything that has happened today, Alec has completely forgotten about that, so the second Jace mentions the pianist, Alec is overwhelmed by doubts and uncertainty. Should he call Magnus? What should he tell him if he does? Alec is too tired to think about all of this right now and even if Izzy and Clary are busy pouring the wine and chatting, discussing whether he should call Magnus or not isn’t safe. Jace knowing is weird enough and as much as he loves them, he doesn’t need the girls to get involved.

 

“We’re not talking about that,” Alec declares, glancing nervously at the girls. 

“Why? You should call him.”

“Jace, piss off.” 

 

Alec’s order comes too late. When he risks another glance toward Izzy and Clary, they are not in the kitchen anymore but standing behind the sofa, both hands busy with glasses of wine. Alec hopes they haven’t heard anything, but Izzy’s open mouth proves they have. 

 

“Have you met someone, big brother?” Izzy asks, putting one glass into Alec’s hand and sipping wine as she sits on the table. 

“No!” Alec replies too eagerly then sighs, rolling his eyes. 

Izzy is still looking at Alec but questions the blonde man: “Jace?” 

“I-” Jace stars as Clary settles on his lap. 

“Jace!” Alec interrupts him in a warning tone. 

 

Jace grunts and tilts his head back, resting it on the back of the sofa. When Clary leans on him and settles her head in the crook of his neck, softly kissing it, Alec knows he’s screwed. Everyone knows Jace can’t resist his fiancée, so Alec breathes in and out, and spills it out, hoping to at least have some control over the announcement. 

 

“Fine,” he sighs, “Magnus, he…” Alec stops, looking for his words as he put his glass on the coffee table, “he gave me his number.”

“That explains why he’s been in such a good mood today,” Clary thinks out loud, straightening on Jace’s lap. 

“What does that mean?” Izzy asks and to be honest, Alec wants to know the answer too. 

“Only three things can put Magnus in such a good mood: piano, his cat, and successful flirting,” she enumerates and Jace nods in agreement. 

 

Flirting? So Magnus really was flirting with Alec? Imagining it is one thing, but knowing it’s real is different. Alec can feel his body warming up, the heat reaching his cheeks while he crosses his arms on his chest to give himself some composure. When he realizes they are all staring at him, Alec knows he has to say something. 

 

“Who said it was successful?”

 

While Clary just smiles, Jace and Izzy burst out laughing, like Alec just said the most hilarious joke they’re ever heard. 

 

“It totally was, I saw you,” the man reminds him. 

“You’re blushing, big brother,” Izzy points out at the same time. 

“That’s cute,” the readhead adds. 

 

Alec only rolls his eyes, crosses his arms tighter and sinks into the sofa. 

 

“Please, tell me you’re going to call him,” his sister becomes serious all of the sudden.

“No…?”

“Why?!” Izzy and Jace shouts, once again synchronized. 

“He likes you,” Clarry assures him, “he talks a lot about you.”

 

Alec wants to ask what Magnus says about him but decides otherwise. He’s being obvious enough and it would be one more proof that he’s interested in Magnus, and he’s not ready to admit that; not even to himself. Thankfully, the sibling connection seems to be a real thing because Izzy asks Clary. 

 

“He talks about Alec’s smile and eyes and body and a-”

“Okay, stop!” Jace cuts her short. “TMI. The guy likes you Alec, call him.”

“Yes! Do it!” Izzy supports Jace. 

 

Alec considers calling Magnus for a second, but as he plays the conversation in his head, his heart beats faster and he starts to panic. What is he supposed to tell him? Alec isn’t used to this kind of situation so he has no clue how to deal with it. Lydia is the only person he had a relationship with and it was platonic. 

 

“I wouldn’t even know what to say,” he confesses. 

“What about ‘Hey Magnus, it’s Alec, let’s go out sometime and make passionate love to each other’?” Jace suggests. 

Alec rolls his eyes, “very funny.”

“Leave him alone, Jace,” Izzy sighs, kicking the blonde man with her foot, “but seriously, you should call him, Alec.”

“Or text him!” Clary proposes. “It’s easier, you can think about what to say.”

“Or misinterpret things,” Jace remarks before sipping at his wine. 

 

Even if Jace is right, Alec thinks about it and comes to the conclusion that Clary is right too: texting is easier. At least, Alec can’t stutter while texting and won’t make a fool of himself again. 

 

“Do something, Alec, you have nothing to lose: Magnus likes you and you like him, so ask him on a date and move on if he says no,” Jace advises, “I swear to god that if you don’t do it, I’m gonna get his number from Clary and text Magnus myself from your damn phone.”

 

His best friend has a point: Alec has nothing to lose. And, now that he’s out, he needs to get over his fear of being in a relationship with another man. Grunting, Alec stands up and goes to get the business card in his wallet. 

 

“Do it here!” Izzy shouts from the living-room. 

 

Rolling his eyes, Alec goes back to the sofa and sits with a sigh before taking his phone out of his pocket. His fingers hoover hesitantly over the keys as he thinks about what to type, but everyone’s eyes on him are disturbing. Alec starts typing anyway, but the first try is too formal, so he deletes it and starts again. 

 

“Stop deleting!” Izzy advises after his fifth try. “Type and send, don’t think.”

 

Alec sighs, shakes his head and tries again. 

 

**_I want to know you too. Drinks next Friday? It’s Alec by the way._ **

 

Alec hits send before overthinking this, and puts his phone on the coffee table. When he lifts his head up, they are all staring at him. 

 

“Stop looking at me like that! I did it, okay, now leave me alone.”

“I’m so proud of you, big brother!”

 

As Alec shakes his head once again, the screen of his phones turns on, showing a new received text. 

 

“What is it saying?” Jace asks impatiently as Alec unlocks his phone and read the text. 

 

**_Oh my… Alexander, I would never have thought you were so forward, I like it! It’s a date ;)_ **

 

“We’re getting drinks next Friday,” Alec announces as a smile forms on his lips. 

“Oh, look at this, my parabatai has game!”

“Piss off, Jace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! 
> 
> Alec and Magnus are having their first date in the next chapter, how do you think it will go?? 
> 
> If you want to chat about the story or I don't know, just say hi, You can find me on [Tumblr](http://highwarluckbane.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/highwarluckbane).
> 
> If you want to me to add a tag or anything, don't hesitate to ask.  
> Also, you know, comments and kudos are always welcome ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Tada!
> 
> For those of you who are worried/may be repelled by Alec and Lydia's (totally fake and platonic) relationship, fear not! It's only mentioned a few times throughout the story and doesn't affect Malec in any way! 
> 
> If you want to chat about the story or I don't know, just say hi, You can find me on Tumblr. 
> 
> Concerning new chapters, I'm still hesitating between a weekly thing or a biweekly thing, we'll see ^^
> 
> If you want to me to add a tag or anything, don't hesitate to ask.  
> Also, you know, comments and kudos are always welcome ;)


End file.
